In Between Crossroads 🌌

Hi guys, another post from me after such a long time. I am actually preparing for my national licensure exam that’s why I’ve been MIA and now, I am just writing because I actually want to release the stress that’s piling up inside me. After almost 3 months of studying, constantly reading, praying and even crying, I need some outlet to release this anxiety I am feeling right now. 

Loud heartbeats, insomnia and stress eating, all of these are my current situation and I am honestly trying to appease myself but for some reason, it will go and come back right up after a few days. So here I am, writing because I want to be heard and also to remind myself to be tough in this storm. (Yes, I write to myself sometimes 😅)  

I honestly believe that this anxiety is coming from my goals not being in where it is supposed to be and I am honestly in the middle of finding my purpose and at the same time being torn in what I want to do in my life. 💔 have you ever experienced something like that? Like, you are in the middle of a cross road and you’ve chosen a path, worked hard to walk through it only to be placed in the middle, afraid for it to finish because you are not sure what the end will be? That is exactly what I am feeling right now. 

I should not be writing right now and instead, I should be reading notes and preparing for the exam but I cant focus on those things because I know that here is still a storm building up inside of me. I am honestly trying to find a word from the Lord to help me have peace within me to be able to complete this journey but sadly, I can’t seem to make a hold of His presence. Maybe this is the reason why I am tired, anxious and weary, I’ve been longing for God’s hands on me. 

Since freshman years, I started learning to write devotions and read the bible whenever I feel down and amazingly, it gives me alot of strength. But as years passed and life get’s too busy, I realized that I’ve never really have that moment with the Lord that I used to enjoy when I was much younger. I got so centered with the now that I didnt have the time to just mumble a simple prayer. 

That’s exactly my problem, I get too far from the Lord’s presence that I got consume by the world. I’ve been busy planning things, what I want to do, my future, finances and even studies that I forgot to ask for Him in my life. 

So as a reflection of this, a verse comes poppin’ on my head. It says, “And the Lord will be your everlasting light. And your God will be your glory”. 

May this line speaks to me and guide me as the true light that my life needs. This post is very short but I hope you got something from my own share of how to deal with my own anxiety. 

That’s all for now and see you after I overcome this obstacle in my life. Remember..

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God doesn’t give problems we couldn’t take. He chooses battles fit for His warriors

So if you are like me who is struggling through something, let’s have the strength to face it and ask God to fuel our spirit to face this challenge. ❤️
Have a nice day guys 🌹

Xoxo, 

Merryl Ann

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

1 John 4:4 NIV

https://bible.com/bible/111/1jn.4.4.NIV

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