It takes two to be strangers

What does it mean by being introverted? Was it part of my being? was it necessary? To answer these questions, I came to realize it wasn’t just me. These thoughts are running at the back on my mind.

C/o pinterest

Entering adult life has been a huge thing in my life lately. I have been in a constant search of my own personality and who I truly am as a person. Along the way I came to realize that not everyone fits into my own world and I am slowly learning that I am bound to lose someone somewhere along my journey. I am not trying to tell you that this is the standard thing for growth and adulthood, I just want to share to you guys my thoughts regarding this fall out, something that happened recently. So lets go down the memorylane..

Back in 2022, I met someone at work and it was a start of a good friendship. We hangout a lot and since she was a jolly personality, we instantly get along fast. The last thing I know, we were inseparable. We ate lunch together, I do errands with her and even go out during our day offs, she basically became my favorite buddy at work, that was until we had a fight on some petty thing related to work. Me, being a Capricorn, it was in my nature to always make sure to perform the job well. I am being strict with that and I can’t help but lose my temper when my colleagues does not mind the work well. I put an effort and I expected them to do it as well. Well that was my first mistake. I admit I was kinda petty during that time but her reaction afterwards made me think back if she is really a friend, A little misunderstanding for some reason really got into my nerves I was surprised my hands were shaking, I am basically teary eyed with her accusations towards me. Yes, I call it ‘accusations’ because the tone of the message implied I am doing her wrong which I didnt intend to do. Moving forward, I decided to let it go. I had faults in that situation and I admit it, I moved on.

Fast forward to days and months after our first fall out, I started feeling uncomfortable towards her. She always asks me if I am angry even though I am just minding myself in the corner. Mind you, I am an introvert so I seldom talk and I do have my solo moments. I get tired about her questions. The things we did together before wasn’t that fun anymore. I lose interest. I was thinking why but after a careful introspection, I came to realize that I lost my trust towards her. And that is a big thing for me.

I have lots of colleagues and seasonal friends but I rarely consider one as true friend. Someone I can be comfortable with my guards down and someone who I trust would not judge me when I’m at my worst. I once thought she could be that. Until I was proven wrong.

They always said that, a friend would not make you feel like an outsider. But I felt it more than once with her. That is basically the end of my reaching out. Maybe we arent really meant to be friends but just coworkers. And as open minded as I am, I respect that. We are not everyone’s cup of tea. So why I am writing this? This is simple an ode to myself that eventhough you lose a friend, it wasn’t just your fault. Its just what it is. Maybe this disconnection is a precautionary measure to prevent future uncomfortableness. That you are meant to have your own path.

Fellow readers, this is a reminder that As your goals shifted, your circle will be changed too. If you ever experience these kind of things always remember to find the lesson in this episode of your life. Learn and grow. Growth is a result of breaking out of something and in this life, make this an opportunity to be better and stronger. You may lose one but you gain you. And sometimes, it’s worth it. You are worth it.

Adios!

C/o pinterest

I AM ME & REAL series #2: You are who you thought you are.

Chapter 2 of my “I AM ME & REAL SERIES”..

Its been so long guys and alot has happened already. But that’s life, every now and then something happens and that’s the beauty of it. Life’s a constant change and so are you. You are not who you are yesterday. Each day there is something added to you and your soul is carved differently by each experiences. I believe each of us has wondered who they are exactly. Are you your past mistakes? Are you define by your title? Your status?your parents mistake? Or is it you who gets to define your own mark?

As a thinking millenial, many of us has been struggling our way to our own identity. Alot has been set in our society and most of them have already carved in their minds stereotypes and categories to which an individual should fit in. I always try to defy those categories. And I would be wise to advise it to you as well. To you whose been reading my posts, you would know that I always encourage my readers to find their own identity, their own passion, or so to speak, their calling.

You are who you thought you are and you could be who you dreamed to be. I always believe that the mind has immense power to transform our lives. What transcends in your own mind flows into your life and it happens. Believe me, it does.

Mind over matter. The power of your own thoughts. It is essential to recognize the ability of our mind to reshape our lives because it is our own navigator. God gave us our minds to help us figure out things on our own. It is imminent that things happen. But what how we respond to it shapes us, our character, our perceptions and in general, our life.

So as a challenge to you my dear reader, I want you to visualize who you want to be. And work your ass off towards it. It will always start with a thought but it should never ever end there. Mental affirmation is important but physical desperation is also a major key to accomplishing goals. Dream. Conquer. Achieve.

Just a gentle reminder.. what you think will not manifest fast. It could take years to happen. But always trust the process. It is more meaningful than the actual end could be. Enjoy the journey and never lose sight of your goals.

Xoxo,

Merryl Ann

🤗LET’S BE FRIENDS🤗

🦄 Social media accounts:

🎆Instagram: @iammerrylann

🎆Facebook: Merryl Ann Tan

🎆Twitter: @Rryl_Me

Getting a Job + Pursuing your Passion

Hi guys.. Today’s blog would be about something I have been struggling in most of my days and just like any human being, it kinda gets to me too.

These past months have been quite memorable because of my graduation. Yes, I graduated from college and I am now a professional Medical Technologist. (Got my license too.) and now, what I am struggling most about is finding a good job and at the same time, still pursuing blogging. You all know that my inner heart is a blogger. This is my passion. But above all things, I also need to enter a sustainable career to feed my needs. (Got to pay some bills, you know..) So I am actually torn between pursuing what I love and having an 8-5 job. I have been pondering about these things and I do come to a conclusion where I do have to make choices in life and that’s part of being an adult. But I do realize also that not all choices is about choosing only one option your entire life. I never want my life to just be about going to work and paying bills, you know. I also want to do things I love to do. So right now, I am writing this  to show you, my readers, that I am trying to motivate each and everyone of you who wants to do what they love the most, to just continue doing it. Every hindrances to your passion should be a fuel to ignite that determination of yours to achieve your goals in life. Yes. I do feel down also. I even got my own depressing times. But do you know what makes me going? It is my desire to reach the end of my life journey feeling contented and happy for what I’ve been through along the way. It is my great dream to live a life I am contented about. A life I will still choose to live over and over again if given a chance. So, if you are that person who wants what I want too, let’s get it done!

I am sharing to you some of the things (or tricks) that help me get it done..

• keep a journal of your goals in life this helps you keep track of what you want
• always ask for God’s assistance prayer and reading verses in the bible helps you be encourage and in line with what God wants for your life
• look for motivation look around you and find inspiration from people or even your surroundings
• Never make excuses if you want something, get it done. Do not be used to yourself justifying your actions. If you set your mind for it, you have to do it! No excuses!
• always have your friends and family’s support having them by your side will most likely help you get determine and work for it.

So yeah.. here’s what I have learned from this experience. Thank you for reading! I enjoy sharing this to you! and… I also have a post of my june favorites.. you could check that too here..

https://iammerrylann.wordpress.com/2018/07/04/june-favorites-2018/

and i also have my social media accounts. do follow me, and let’s be friends!

Social media accounts:

Instagram: @iammerrylann

Facebook: Merryl Ann Tan

Twitter: @Rryl_Me

that’s all for now.. thank you! and don’t forget to do things with love..

 

xoxo,

Merryl Ann

Tearing down Insecurities and Building Confidence

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” You’ll never be good enough”

“You won’t be able to do that”

“You’re such a failure”

Living in this world unsure of who you are, what you can and be able to do, is undeniably the most  painful thing in this world. Unfortunately, a lot of people does not only add salt to these wounds but also planted seeds of doubt on others. Making it worst than it should be. 

Being a teenager and growing up with the heightened expectation of the society is a big obstacle. I say obstacle not just to beautify this sentence but also to emphasize that it is difficult. HARD. You either fall and get up or fall and stay low. This is the struggle that a lot of us has gone through at one point in life. Maybe it is something that you are also experiencing right now. And today, I would like to tell you that it is something that you should get over with and conquer.

As I grow up, I learned that in a lot of ways, people would like to state their opinion. Either in a good way or in a bad way. I cannot say that it is okay since there is what we call freedom of expression or freedom of speech. Yes those human rights exists. But there are some who certainly abuse these rights and deliberately hurt others with their words. Not realizing that words are knives that can cut through souls is one of our too-many-to-mention shortcomings.

I cannot say that I am perfect and I know that I am so far from that, but I come to realize a lot about myself this year and some of it, I want to share to all of you who, from the deepest corner of their hearts, have been experiencing a lot of pain. Pain brought by others, pain brought by their selves. INSECURITIES.

That pain may be brought by a lot of experiences, words or situation in your life that doesn’t turn out to be what you wanted. Either way, it hurts you like hell. When I was in a situation so much like yours, I experienced a lot of indecision. Mainly because most of the opinions are from different people. People who may be similar to me and sometimes worse, a lot different from my own personality. As I come to my way of building confidence, I came to realize that choosing which opinions work best for you helps in a lot of ways. There are some people who really cares and would give constructive criticism to make you a lot better and those, for me, are the people who matters. I know, they are difficult to find but I honestly suggest not to look farther. You have your family and close friends who are there to fulfill that role. All you have to do is ask and trust what they say.

In life, there will be a lot of things to come to you, a lot of bulbs you will encounter. But I suggest that you should pick the bulbs that emits just enough light to brigthen your way and not those who might burn your eyes. This is practically applicable when it comes to building confidence. Know what opinion of others are of good will. Do not focus much on the ranting and the destructive criticisms. It will only crash you down and nothing comes good out of it.

Love yourself. This is what Justin bieber’s popular song has been advocating on a lot of the beliebers. There may not be a lot of things to agree about the man but the song delicately touch a subject that we all should open our eyes with. Yes, there are so many needles that could pop your balloon of confidence anytime but I do believe that shielding yourself from the constant pricking others throw in your way helps a lot in saving that balloon. Anyway, you only have one goal. Do not ever let it pop. Because confidence, just like the metaphor I used, could easily pop and fly away. And once its popped, it will be hard or even impossible to bring back. So if you ever feel like there are too much thorns around you, too much negative things thrown in your way, too much destructive opinions, shield yourself. Try telling yourself soothing words like..

“It’s okay. Just do your best.”

“You can do it”

“You’re good! “

Do not be harsh on yourself. Build up confidence from the inside first. Trust your capabilities. Others may not see it yet but it’s there. We all have our own talents. It’s just a matter of time and discovery.

Lastly, open yourself. Wherever or whatever bad situation you have or you’re in, always find a way to crack your miserable thinking and always look for a way out. You have something special up on your sleeves. All you have to do is get out of those negative thinking, get out of that shell other people put you in. Be whoever you want to be and be better. It’s just a matter of thinking. What your mind perceives, it happens. Think of what you want to be and be it. You will never build confidence if you will not work on it yourself. Be vigorous about it. Strive hard!

There is a saying that tells us, ” If you don’t like where you are, move! You are not a tree!”. Yes, you are absolutely not a tree. You can get out of it. Yes, you could. Just take the first step and the other, and another step. Until you are far from your past and you are who you want to be in the future.

So That’s it! And that’s all for now. Those are my thoughts regarding building confidence. Hope I helped in a little way. 🙂 I would like to know how you feel. 🙂 We can definitely have some small talks in the comment section below.. thank you and love you guys! 💕❤💖💗

Xoxo,

Merryl Ann

P.s

Follow me on my social media accounts:

Instagram: @iammerrylann

Twitter: @queenstar_ann

Facebook: Merryl Ann Tan

it’s not much but I always follow back for sure! Let’s be instabuddies 👋😂😂 and also on twitter, 😙😙😙😙
Would also be happy if you could write down on the comments below.:) would love to interact with my co bloggers and share ideas with each other 💕 leave your link below so I could follow too. 😘