Hello guys. It’s already the start of Christmas season and for those of you who knew me, You all know that I’m turning 20 on the 26th of December. Whoa! How fast time flies.. I even remember being a tiny being and now, I’ll be entering adulthood. Legit!
Anyways, as I am thinking of something to update my blog, I came to realize that my goal in writing is to express my ideas and feelings to you and as far as my blog goes, I haven’t really shared something personal to all of you (not that I am assuming that you want to know things about me. It’s just that, I just want to share things and sharing it through writing is a fun, and a dream I always thought of doing in the future, which I am doing now.. hahaha)
As I am pondering on my life, I’m surprised of how mature I had become these past few years. I’ve come to realize a lot of things and I really want to share to you some of these wisdom that I gained based on experiences. Yeah right, experience is the best teacher! Yay! T.T (But some of it, I wish I haven’t had to experience, though.)
So here are some of the life lessons I want to impart to you. I’m not claiming that all of this will apply to your life but I just want to let you know that you’re not alone. Sometimes, you experience things that you thought you’re the only one experiencing. But actually, in real life, you’re not! You are actually thinking the opposite..
Let’s talk about it from the bottom to the top.
20 “Treat people the way they treat you is not a general rule”
We always hear this quote in a lot of movies, or even read it in multitudes of books. This is a very popular quote but it doesn’t really apply to all. Tested and proven..
When I was younger, I always stick to this idea. I actually even apply this in real life. But as I got older and experience a lot, I came to realize that there are some exceptions and it’s not necessarily the truth. Growing up, I am encountering a lot of people and I am in complete awe of the extremities and ranges of personality this world has. Yes, I’ve seen the good and bad sides of it all. To tell you a story..
When I was living in a dormitory, I am forced to live with strangers and I saw how other people treat each other. I even experienced being bullied (not physically but verbally) by my dorm mates. They wouldn’t say it in front of me but I know because others who heard it will tell me. And I am surprised by that because I never really do anything to deserve that kind of treatment. I am just a typical quiet girl. I don’t even answer phone calls inside the room because I might disturb them, I never complain of their noise when they chit-chat while I study for major exams, or even when they turn off the light when I’m still reading. I never curse or back stab them either. I am so confused and hurt of the things they said that I build up hatred for them. I even slowly become like them which is the worst to happen to me, of all people. And I hate it. I even felt guilty about it. That’s what will happen if you base your personality on other people. You’ll end up being who you are not. So, today, as I go on with my life, I already made peace with them. Even if I haven’t heard a tiny bit of sorry from them, I forgave them. I even nod and smile at them when I see them in school. And as of today, I always try to treat people in a way, I want to be treated and it’s so much better. I get to remove my hatred and I end up happier and more assured of myself.
19 “Bitterness is next to ugliness”
Being bitter of your situation, your appearance or any other aspect of your life affects you in a major way. I experienced that in my past too. I always thought when I was young that things should be this way, that I should be like that, or I hate this about me. And it slowly eats me inside. I lost confidence and I also become a pessimist. I always thought that things will never be the way I want it to be. That I will forever be a loser and that I’ll stay stagnant for the rest of my life.
That didn’t motivate me at all. I even lost friends along the way because of my insecurities and my uncertainty about things. To summarize it all, nothing good comes out of being bitter. It only makes you uglier on the inside out.
On the contrary, being positive helped me in slowly being the person I want to be. In the past, I always thought of becoming a writer or a blogger, but I didn’t do anything to achieve it because I always say negative things that draw me back. I never even tried anything but I always thought that I cannot achieve it because of so many excuses and belittling thoughts. But now, as I looked at the bright side of life and being positive, I actually opened a blog that I want and slowly doing what I thought is impossible back then. So, yes, positive thinking really helps a lot and being bitter ruins you. Stay out of bitterness, bes!
18 “Life is not a tea party”
Chilling is a good thing. It helps in a lot of ways in your mental and physical health. But overdoing it will not help.
I am currently studying BS Medical Technology in FEU-Manila and I honestly know this one very well. I always experience a lot of hammering and stress in school because of tons of exams and practical that we are taking. We are always in a rush to study and to go to school because of shifting exams.
I personally know that chilling is not an option when you are a college student because it can cost you a whole semester and even ruin your life plans. That’s why, we should all learn to study hard, harder or even hardest if it is what’s needed. Life is not a tea party in reality. It will be like a bar/club where you have to be eager to have seats, you have to make your way to have drinks, and even bump on other people on your way out. It’s basically the same thing with life. You have to pursue and be eager to achieve your dreams, you have to make your way and establish a plan/goal to live your dream and you will even encounter people who will try to stop you in any way but still, you have to continue and reach for it no matter what.
17 “Trust evaporates faster than alcohol”
How catchy is the phrase isn’t it? But aside from it being expressed creatively, this phrase actually is a fact. I, myself, is a proof of this. My friends know me for being uptight. I never talked to everyone about everything that is going on with my life. I only talked to few trusted friends and I love how they kept it a secret. I always value my friends and I always appreciate loyalty. This is the reason why I always make sure that I do the same. They value the trust I’ve given and so do I to them. Trust is really a fragile thing. You cannot just broke it and then fix it as if it’s the same. It will never be the same. Trust me.
16 “College friends are like extended family”
Who among you agrees to this? I personally have a bunch of friends that I already considered as family. I’ve known them since my first year in college and now that I am on my final year, we still managed to be together in a larger version, I may say (because we keep on adding up as years passed) College life is actually a very stressful journey and you will experience a lot of ups and downs while in it. I myself experienced tons of it. And I can safely say that, I would never make it without them beside me. So, if you are ever in college right now or will be soon, I honestly want to advice you to be with a bunch that would definitely accept you with open arms. they will be your anchor and they will definitely make your college life much easier and memorable.
15 “Better is open rebuke than hidden love”
Yes, I know that I’ve mentioned that I seldom talked and yes, I honestly am and this has been an obstacle with my friends when we are in our sophomore years. I love my friends and I love everything about them but there are some instances that we would have misunderstandings and I will misinterpret their intentions. I tend to be upset about things and It’s so hard for me to open up to them. But that was in the past. Now, I’ve learned that keeping your mouth shut about something that could improve your relationship with other people just because you don’t want to hurt them with the truth or what you “think” is the truth, will eventually end up making a crack on that relationship. It is better to talk things out and clarify things than just be quiet about it. You dont have to ignore and pretend that things didn’t happen just to avoid confrontation. It will never make your friendship or any other relationship deeper. It will have boundaries and you’ll end up not being able to connect to them because there are unresolved issues. Openly rebuke each other and reconcile. It will make your bond much stronger.
14 “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Yes, it’s another verse from the bible and it’s from the book of Ecclesiastes. I love the wisdom of the bible. It really speaks truth in my life and this verse is an example. I received this verse on my devotions when I am having trouble with someone I am assigned to work with on a school project. I don’t know why but I feel like she would always want to try to pull me down on every thing that we do. It’s like a cold war and I don’t even know why that’s happening. We talked and we already clarify that there’s nothing wrong but her actions imply the opposite. So I’m really searching for answers when my bible app popped this verse to me. I came to a realization that it will be better to just distance myself from people who can’t be true or honest of what they’re intentions are. It’s okay to have misunderstandings with friends because its part of the friendship you had. But having trouble communicating and interacting with someone who doesn’t even want to talk and straight things out with you can’t be trusted. It’s like sweet coating a bitter pill. And I am not up to that because I’ll end up thinking things on my own and it will just stress me out. So if you are experiencing what I had experienced, I highly recommend to distance yourself from those people. They will not do you any good and you’ll just end up stressing yourself.
13 “when you fall, clear your butt and stand up”
I am not a perfect person and I know that you aren’t either. We, from time to time, experience some downfalls and it’s okay. It’s totally normal. And the most important thing about experiencing failure is learning from it and using it to propel forward. As of today, I’ve come to realize that failures are not exactly a drawback but rather a way to align you to the path you’re destined to go. It is not necessarily a flaw but rather a test of strength.
Always remember that there is no standard story. Each one of us will end up in a totally different endings and same goes on with the process of going there. It will be different one way or another. You don’t finish your college degree on time? So what? You’ll end up having a diploma anyways. Just like riding a bicycle, focus on the way you wish to go and not on the pedals. It will prevent you from falling and staggering for balance,right? Same goes with your failures. Focus more on what’s ahead of you and don’t bother looking at your mistakes. It will only make you lose confidence and will totally hinder you in moving forward. Just focus on your goal and achieve it. Kaya mo yan, bes!
12 “Never rush in finding your partner in life”
This may be embarrassing but to tell you honestly, I never had any love (boyfriend-girlfriend) relationships…yet. Yes, I am open to experience love but I never really rush myself. Love for me is something that is far deeper than watching movies, buying gifts and texting each other good night. I want to find someone who I can completely be true and honest with. Someone I could share my thoughts, my ideas and aspirations. Someone I could really say “the one”. And besides, it is more important to build love for yourself first and be whole before going into a commitment. I always like a quote which I find true and real. The quote describes love as a cake where the whole cake represents yourself and slicing it into parts is the relationship you have. Because being in a relationship is not about finding someone who will make you whole but rather having someone to share your life with.
11 “when your emotions are on fire, learn to distance yourself”
Our newspaper adviser once told me that emotions makes an article meaningful. I totally agree with that. But not the same goes with words. Dont get me wrong. Love confessions would surely be more romantic if emotions are expressed but turning that emotion into the negative side like anger is not the best fuel to use for expression. It may exaggerate the fire and you’ll end up burning yourself too in the process. I, myself, personally had times where I regret things that I said when I am angry. I end up feeling guilty of saying awful things even though I know that I’m just carried away by emotions. We should always be responsible of our words and actions. It will affect not only us but other people as well. We might hurt them permanently with our words and we wouldn’t wan that to happen. Especially if you don’t really mean it.
10 “stay grounded, no matter where you are, what you are and what you’ve achieved”
Being able to still look back on your past no matter what happens in your life is also a great value that everyone should be able to practice. I’ve seen people who attain success but lose character. And I personally would not want that to happen to me. I always keep in mind what my parents told me over and over again, that being able to stay humble no matter what blessings God lays in your way is a very essential trait. That no matter what position you have, belittling someone is not an option.
As I’ve said, I have seen how money changes people and I see how distorted it made them to be. I may have not yet experienced being on top but I’ll surely try my best to still look down and always remember that staying grounded to where I came from when I reach it.
9 “Not all people will like you and it’s okay. But make sure when you look in the mirror, you’ll like what you see”
You all know that I always promote self-appreciation in all the writings that I wrote in this blog. It’s because, it is something that I lose for quite some time. I experienced being labeled by other people based on my appearance, especially my size and I develop low self-esteem because of that. It is an awful experience. Yes, I’ve been there. But I’m also thankful to that episode in my life because I realized a lot regarding my self and other people too. I realized that hating yourself makes other people hate you also. And that, to make other people appreciate you, you should appreciate yourself first. And I love the idea of that.
In the end, the only opinion that will matter when we are on our deathbed and reflecting on our life and how we live it is our inner self. Did we experience happiness? Are you proud of yourself? And when you say yes, that will be the most beautiful feeling in the world.
8 ” Be who you want to be”
Some people always have this crazy idea of crab mentality. And its a sickness that our society should stop practicing. I always love to say to my friends and acquaintances that being true to themselves is the ultimate key to success. It may sound redundant but its the truth. You cannot say that you will be the best of all the best because everyone is unique in their capabilities. You cannot label a rabbit as the fastest animal if you compare it with a frog. Sure, they can both hop but it’s not the only thing that makes them fit that category. Same goes with people. This is why I always ask my friends, “what do you really want?”. Because realizing what you are passionate about helps in cultivating strengths and realizing weaknesses.
When I was young, I always imagine to do a lot of things because I saw it on tv, or on magazines. I didn’t consider what I really like to be but rather I’m consumed by my admiration that I always said that I want to be like that. why want to be like anybody else? Now, I’ve realized that owning yourselves and branding your identity with what you want to be is an important aspect of finding the real you. Just look into your heart and ponder deeply unto your desires because no one can out best your version of “you”.
7 “If you are tired, take a rest.”
Sometimes, we experience a point where we couldn’t take it anymore. We all had this at one point in our life. I had it too. And most of the time, we tend to overdo things eventhough our mind screams stop. We just couldn’t get the red signal right. We always thought that our limits are our weakness and we should strive harder to pass through it. Yes, it’s true that overcoming limits is a major achievement. But we also have to realize that overcoming things doesn’t happen in a quick span of time. It takes series of pause and play but never a stop button.
I learned that pushing yourself in doing what you have to do tends to draw you back more than taking time doing it. I, myself experienced it physically. Lately, I am into a lot of fitness fiascos and I always want to be healthy and fit. I eat healthy foods and even tried exercising.
At first, exercise is doing fine for me. I burn fat and I stay lively all day long. But in the long run, as days passed and I saw slow progress on my weight and the result of my exercise, I started to think of doing a shortcut. Instead of doing the beginner phase, I jumped into the heavy routines and did it with too much intensity that I end up sweating alot. I’m satisfied with how it makes me lose more weight than my usual routine. But on the next day, all of my gladness faded away as I feel muscle cramps and pain all around my body. I wasnt able to continue my exercise that day because I couldn’t even move with the pain I am experiencing. See? Its actually more tiring physically and even emotionally when you try to push yourself to the limit and not resting for a bit to gain energy. We are all humans. We have our limits and we should be cautious about that. Take time to rest your mind and your body when you are feeling sore and awful. It will all heal, just take the time to fuel up and ready yourself for another day. 💪
6 “You dont need lots of friends, only real ones”
I, myself, have an inner circle of friends that I do treasure and love. They are all essential part of my life and I am glad to say that I wouldn’t be who I am today if I haven’t met them. They all have impart with me good memories that helped mold me as a person.
There was once a time during our retreat in highschool where we were asked to write the good and bad sides of each other. I have a classmate back then that approached me and wrote on my bad side, “not easy to talk to, only chooses her friends to talk with”. And I am very much aware of that. So when my time is up to explain to them why I’m like that, I just said it plain and simple,”I don’t need lots of friends, only real ones.”
And up until now, I am still like that. Yes, I’ve gained lots of friends now that I am in college but I also make sure that I filtered them in a good way. Not in a choosy brat kind of way but rather based on the quality of bond we have. Yes, I talk to other people, I mingle, I chat, I joked around. But only few are those whom I really considered my friend. And they all stay up till now. That is what I am really proud of. I have my elementary friends, highschool friends, and others who’ve been part of my life and I am glad that up to this date, I still manage to be in contact with them despite busy schedules. Friendship is not really a matter of quantity but of quality.
5 “Explore and never be afraid to wander”
I remember a time during my childhood wherein we would play hide-and-seek at night in our compound. We had no posts or light bulbs that would lit the whole area but we love it like that. It gives more challenge and an even better place to hide.
During that time, we are not afraid to go into corners we never normally goes to. And we aren’t even afraid of the dark. Why do lot of things changed? Well, that’s the crazy thing about human life. The more we know lots of things, the more we lose interest in exploring it. Right now that I am already an adult, I always want to challenge myself to do things I have never done in my life. Being bold and courageous is genius. I always want to try new things, meet new people and travel (though I still can’t because of studies) But I am always looking forward to that. And you should be too. There are greater things ahead and I want to embrace it as I continue my journey of life. I wish you would be too. There are still lots of things we do not know. And I believe that we haven’t really unravel the real secrets of this world. So let’s be enthusiastic in this life. You’ll never know what things this world could really offer.
4 “value your loved ones”
Its sad that the more our lives innovate, we tend to forget little things that makes each other happy. Like small talks, cheesy letters, corny jokes and even little sweet gestures. Today, we tend to forget how our time is being engulfed by other things. We forget our family.
In my 20 years, I learned that my family is my everything. That if someone would ask me how rich I am, I’ll probably say that I am rich with love. I have a complete family who loves me and that makes me the luckiest person in the world.
In reality, its important that we value the ones we love because it’s not all the time that we will be with them. We’ll never know how the world goes and taking the time we have now to express each other’s love for one another is a great opportunity.
3 “it’s okay not to be okay”
This world is not perfect. And we aren’t either. So we don’t have to pretend to be the happiest person in the world all the time. We all have different reasons to be sad but always keep in mind that its okay to feel that way. We all get hurt, after all. It’s just a matter of when, where, why and how.
2 “imperfection is beauty”
We are not dolls made in a factory with standard sizes and standard appearances. We are all different and everyone is branded with his or her own looks and personality. I am not perfect. And it’s okay. Your flaws are beautiful, it is your own. Embrace it, love it.
1 “Let go, and Let God”
we should all accept the fact that no all things will work the way we want it to be. There will be a lot of turning paths and mislead corners. But you should understand that everything happens for a reason. Yes, its been what everybody else says. But it’s the truth! You just have to learn to trust to the greater being to lead your way and it’s no other than God himself. Trust his plans. You’ll never be wrong with him.
So here are the 20 things I’ve learned in 20 years. How about yours? You could comment down on the things I’ve missed and I’ll be happy to learn it from you. 😍 Thank you for reading and always remember:
Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams. Ashley Smith
2019 – one of the year that challenges me, physically, emotionally and spiritually is ticking its last days as the new year fast approaches. As I wrote this blog, I am closing my 2019 chapter with alot of hope and gratitude. Hope that the coming years will mold a much better version of me and gratitude that despite all the hardships I’ve encountered, I am still here facing the end with a happy smile.Every year since I started blogging, I’ll wrote a post describing what a particular year has given me. I recall calling 2019 as a year of realizations and fulfillment of dreams. It was in a way. 😊 Some went right but alot of things I expected to happen also wasn’t accomplished. I was disappointed, yes, I do felt that this past year but realizing that some of your plans are not included in God’s plan for you makes me realize that not all things you wish to happen, will always happen. Sometimes it may be too much to ask for or it’s just not really part of your destined path. Its like lifting that burden on yourself of being too strict on your goals and just make your way through whats really meant for you.2019 was a tough year because I’ve experienced alot of losses too. I’ve lost some valuable friends, whom I thought would be permanent in my life. I accepted it fully now that I see them living their lives apart from mine. Some losses are devastating but some are also good. I learned that people stay on your lives because they want to. You never have to push yourself for them to be there for you. If they want to be there in the first place, they would have never left. Sometimes, people have to be gone for you to grow and that speaks alot on 2019 for me.This year, I also got my first job and I was so happy. Despite all my struggles, 2019 also gave the best joys I have ever felt. It was this year that I also became a drug analyst. Another achievement for my career as a Medical Technologist. ❤So many has happened from the 365 days of this year but I am thankful that I came out stronger than before. I learned that fear is not the absence of courage but a tool to find one. Courage is not about plunging yourself into every battlefield but choosing one that is worth your time and effort.Peace is gained by a content heart. And you are free to change to a newer better version of yourself. 2019 truly has been a fruitful year. May 2020 bring us hope of a kinder future, a bolder path and a prosperous journey.Goodbye, old sweet 2019 😍🥰 May the rains you bring, nurture my soul and prepare me for what 2020 has to offer. And may the seeds I’ve planted grow into a fruitful tree. 😍 thank you Lord for an amazing year!
Love, Merryl Ann 